Response to Sarah Chulhan

Sarah,

I enjoyed your thoughtful feedback. First of all, I am so happy for you and your new baby! I am sure having this new child in your life really makes you ponder life. It is so true that we sometimes focus on our calculating self in all the negative failures we encounter in our lives. Everyone of us has a central self, our true self that we should be proud of and always remember who we are. It is difficult to always remember this when society demands so much from us. I believe everyone is creative. Sometimes we just have to go back and find that creative self since many coorperate companies try to make us 'cookie cutters'. Your comments really make me think about how important it is to take advantage of the opportunities that come our way instead of sabotaging them into thinking we might 'fail' if we try.

Here was Sarah's post:

Just another random side thought, have you noticed, that when you look at babies and children, we tend to think that the whole world is open to them. They can be anything do any thing, there is a whole world of possibilities open to them. But as we grow older the world of possibility grows smaller, we start to think well if we have not done it by now then we probably ever will. In our minds possibilities and time seem to inextricably linked but what amount of time makes the difference? Seconds, minutes, days, years decades? Just something to think about.

This was my closing paragraph last week but now after reading the next three chapters in the Art of Possibility, I am forced to consider the role of our calculating self. The calculating self that develops as a result of time and life experiences, particularly the negative experiences. It’s the self that keeps us from getting hurt it protects us and allows us to defend our turf. The central self, is our true self, it is our spring of creativity and potential. I think this is what we see when we look at small children cause they have not developed their calculating self. They have not learned to be guarded or mistrustful, all they are is their central self. They are not afraid to put themselves out there, try new things and learn. Children learn fast that they need a calculating self, because they learn quick that they are constantly being compared and measured.

So many of us only live as our calculating self, that we stifle our creativity, that we sabotage our opportunities. So then how do we nurture our central self, how do we learn to harness its power and be free to let it shine through? I think all of the games and models used in the book (the art of possibility) are exercises that help use move beyond the self that protects and hinders us. Giving yourself an A, have the best _ ever are all devices to help the real us shine through.